


I have a mouth but there is no sense in scream

by Galan_Rumos



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Angry Kylo Ren, Angst, Drama, Hurt No Comfort, Hux is So Done, Hux-centric, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, M/M, Minor Character Death, Poor Hux, Post TLJ, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Psychopaths In Love, Sick Love, Unrequited Love, Violence, psychopath kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 10:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14330508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galan_Rumos/pseuds/Galan_Rumos
Summary: Almost nothing can weigh upon like unnecessary, unreciprocated, sick love. Ren's love is exactly this one - absolutely unrestrained, disgustingly obsessive, like an ugly tumor.





	I have a mouth but there is no sense in scream

**Author's Note:**

> I translated my own fanfic that is originally in Russian. English is not my first language. Tried to make it better.
> 
> The title is a reference to the novel of Harlan Ellison " I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream"

Almost nothing can weigh upon like unnecessary, unreciprocated, sick love. Ren's love is exactly this one - absolutely unrestrained, disgustingly obsessive, like an ugly tumor. His presence is almost impossible to avoid, he can be billions of light years far away, on a regular mission - but Armitage feels his presence, as if he is nearby, as if he is a couple of paces from him, behind him, standing on the bridge and drilling his once brown eyes. 

It's not that Hux was really surprised with the look of Ren without a mask. When he saw him for the first time, Armitage thought he was too young. Even cute, to some extent. So much that general allowed himself to smile warmly and tidy up his black hair that fell to his eyes. 

This was a mistake, a fatal mistake. 

It was difficult to call them a dream team - but Hux respected him in his own way, despite the constant tantrums of the latter. But they were able to work together if needed. They complemented each other well. Intuitively, Hux understood that this could be a forced measure, Snoke was brilliant in setting them against each other - and sooner or later this triangle had to be destroyed. 

Hux disguised his thoughts and feelings skillfully. There is nothing difficult to think about the technological development of the Order or the training programs of stormtroopers, while the crazy, almost definitively roaming fanatic rushes into his brain like a pig in the mud. Since his very emergence, he invades another's mind simply and unceremoniously - and settles there. Such actions irritate more strongly than the nail scraping on the durasteel surface. 

Ren carefully probed the soil, spinning a web of random touches, unobtrusive phrases, and, oh, kriff, gifts. Simple gifts, refined in its simplicity. Good alcohol, a set of expensive blades, wonder where he took credits ... Hux persuaded himself that Ren was buying him, trying to avoid the idea that he might have been courting him. Bullshit. But Hux even touched in his own way . 

It was difficult for him to relax. During rare joint dinners and non-binding conversations, Armitage caught himself thinking that he was not in his place, he was captured by feeling the alienity of what was happening. He saw Ren in action, he knew how ruthless, how cruel and merciless he could be. At some point, he realized - here it is, his personal lever of influence, his way of controlling this flow of energy. But it did not bring relief. It weighed down, like the monotonous routine of a military organization, exhausted, like merciless training at the Academy on Arkanis.

_Kylo Ren is surprisingly silent for a man of such a massive complexion. Hux is almost not surprised that he made his way into his quarters in the middle of the night, when Hux was so needed sleep - the construction of Starkiller was in full swing, he was exhausted and exhausted, staying in consciousness only with the help of caf and stimulants. Rare hours of sleep were a saving beacon in this darkness._

_"Is something wrong, Magister?" Hux wearily says, sitting down on the bed. Ren cautiously approaches and sits down nearby. Hux gives the command to turn on the light to a minimum. In the dim light, Kaylo's face seemed pale, almost impersonal. It was difficult to understand what he was feeling._

_Kylo strokes his cheek._

_\- Master sends me on a mission. It will probably last for several months. Came to say goodbye._

_Hux squeezed his hand, knowing that Ren would rejoice at it. Such everyday gestures usually please._

_\- I wanted to say ... Listen, I wanted to say that I love you. I really love you._

_In the brown eyes of Kylo Ren - a small, weak, like a candle stump, a spark of hope._

_Hux cursed himself for being weak, for yielding to his weakness, but, turning his thoughts to nowhere, cautiously said:_

_\- I ... I think I love you, too._

_Ren smiles and kisses him impetuously. This night - like many others after, Hux allows him too much. Obviously, in his thirties or so, Kylo does not have a gigantic experience in terms of sexual relations - but he tries. He tries, as only he can. Hux is unpleasant, he can hardly concentrate on any sensations, except pain. He can not get rid of the feeling that he makes a mistake, but still hopes that this quasi-relationship will pay off with interest._

Starkiller. The deal of his whole life is destroyed, incinerated. Now the memory of the superweapon is no more than a symbol - an ordinary symbol of the collapse of his hopes and aspirations. And he gives himself a slack. He lets go of control - and tries to stop this performance when he pulls Ren from a burning planet. But it's' too late. Amber flashes in his eyes are burning with supernova fire. 

After the death of Snoke, the picture changes to one hundred and eighty degrees. Armitage Hux was anyone, but not a complete idiot - and, of course, he did not believe in a fairy tale about scavenger having killed Snoke. Of fucking course, together with the guard at the same time. When Hux hesitated for a second, not daring to make a blaster shot, that definitely would have finished everything, now to be in his own trap. Well, this triangle is no more. Because its top was brought down, plunging other components into chaos. 

Ren is now the Supreme Leader. Kriff, sounds as ridiculous as the jokes of the hutt pilot of the Resistance. It's just as ridiculous as his orders. Kylo Ren does not trust anyone but himself, and probably not even himself. But Hux already agrees to both Force-choking and hurling into instrument panels. Just not to feel this painful obsession, this obsessive, unnecessary love. For these feelings, there are no more obstacles left. Masks are broken, bridges burned. Touche. 

Hux even thinks that Ren, probably, will destroy him, as soon as he realizes that his feelings are unrequited. But after Crait, when Ren comes to his quarters and kisses him for a long time, Hux realizes that everything is much worse. Ren kisses him greedily, obtrusively, practically devouring his mouth with his own. And then - fucks right on the floor, snarling angrily right into the ear: "You are mine, mine, you are only mine!" And in his voice there is an angry, victorious, other-worldly laughter. Kylo does not need Hux's love. He just needs him. Symbol. A living symbol of his painful insanity. Of his illogical passion, which almost no place in the world of the First Order. 

Ren's amber eyes reflect hellish, bloody flashes of ancient magic, absolutely alien and frightening, ready to bury everyone. 

When Ren calls him into his quarters, Hux is almost not surprised. And Hux almost does not feel reluctant to go. For all the time that has passed from Crait, he already feels almost nothing. As if the scarlet amber had burned all the insides and incinerated all senses. 

Kylo stands looking at the wall and, judging by his voice, threatening someone. Ah, the next session of telepathy, Hux thinks. Ren often contacted this way with General Organa and that scavenger. After these sessions, he usually crushes the panels and furniture. Hux would like to see these sessions make Ren sleep. And he is often visited by the Force Ghost, uncle, whose projection swatted them like the last fools on Crait. After conversations with the ghost of Luke, Ren usually gets drunk. Noticing him in the room, Ren walks up and puts Hux on the bed, hugging him. 

\- Do you want to know who I spoke with?

\- During this telepathic likeness of holo-communications? I believe that with his mother or with that girl-scavenger, - Hux indifferently shrugs his shoulders. 

\- Do not be jealous! - almost with child's delight tells Ren, hanging over him, - my mother died. Imagine, I did not even feel it, - Kylo draws thoughtfully, piercingly at him. 

Hux was never jealous of Ren. Neither to his past, nor to his present. Neither to his bloody strength, nor to his ambitions. 

Ren seems to want it. 

-You know, the scavenger specifically contacted me to report it. And I did not even feel that Leia Organa was dead ... 

General didn`t get the essence of his own feelings. Insult, anger, joy? .. It really frightened him that he could no longer understand Kylo. What used to be s a lever of influence, became his personal nightmare. 

After all, now ... they are one on one. There is no Snoke who played them off but also held them back. Phasma, whom he trusted in his own way, was lost. The scavenger girl is just a matter of time. The resistance practically faded into oblivion. They really are together. And it really horrified Hax. He did not have a way back. 

-Hux ... - Ren took off his gloves and cupped his face with his hands, - Do not be jealous! You are mine, but I am also yours. We are together. We rule this fucking galaxy together. Yes?

Hux only nodded. Jealousy, well, how quaint... Ren's eyes burned with amber. Scarlet and black flashes of hatred and rage broke through the dancing devils. 

\- Can you imagine, - Kylo says, in a disgruntled tone of the offended child, - she thinks I'm tormenting everyone around me. She says that you are more likely to hang yourself than stand by my side. She's lying? 

In the half-mad tone of Kylo, there is a mixture of hope and reproach. Kylo does not let him answer. Looking somewhere in the wall, he angrily screwed up his eyes and hisses through clenched teeth. 

\- What do you know about this? Among the mountains of garbage, you did not even learn to count in the columnar form, but you do know such words? 

Ren talks to the scavenger.

\- Can you imagine, - Kylo smiles faintly, embracing Hax tightly, - She just called me crazy! Stupid fucking cunt, - Ren is laughing, rampant and madly, his eyes are painted scarlet - and Armitage prays to all the existing and non-existing gods that these are just capillaries that burst from overexertion, and not the dark side that captured Ren. His Ren. A sudden rush, an explosion stuns Hux and tosses general aside the walls. 

\- What the fuck?! - Hip hisses, rubbing his bruised back. 

\- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Kylo hugs him softly and kisses his temple-and this sudden tenderness scares more than all the power kicks put together.

\- I just finally severed my mental connection with her. She is very irritating. 

The voice of Kylo has nothing but hysterical notes of an offended child. And so he is. 

\- You surely understand, - Ren says softly and insinuatingly. 

No, the Supreme Leader. Kriff, that even sounds ridiculous.

\- You know that I love only you. Only one I need is you. You are only mine. 

\- Only yours, - Hux says lifelessly. 

With an almost vague horror, Hux realizes that he is dead - has been dead for several years. Therefore, he simply allows Kylo to do with his body whatever it pleases. Kylo Ren has black hair, like charcoal from a burnt house, a hunched back - as if he wants to seem less powerful to himself. He has amber, burning with scarlet flame eyes and an angry, half-mad voice.

In a cold tone, he orders to destroy any hint of discontent with the activities of the First Order. He, with inhuman, icy calmness, traces traitors who call themselves Resistance. 

The Supreme Leader personally manages the boarding of that flying junk, which serves as the last reminder of his intrusive, unwilling to let go of the past. Personally, he captures a traitor stormtrooper, a pilot with a shitty sense of humor and that scavenger, what is her name, Rey? Hux was busy hacking the ship computer while the stormtroopers were cleaning up the scraps and stunts of this pile of terrorists when Ren's voice rang out in a comlink, which requires his personal presence in the execution of traitors. 

Kriff, how pathetic. Kylo Ren with the change of position even more loved being drama queen. 

-Come here, - Kylo beckoned with his hand to the spot where he stood, and in front of him, on their knees - resistance scum. As Ren managed to neutralize the Jedi Girl, only Palpatine's ghost is aware of. Hax swallows nervously when he realizes that she does not have limbs. She is not yet plastered on the floor just because she is holding herself with the Force. Or Kylo Ren keeps her. 

\- I ripped out their tongues. They talked a lot. I do not like it when they talk a lot. 

\- Why have not you finished them yet? - no matter how hard Hux tried, the voice trembled treacherously. 

Kylo takes his hand and holds out an activated lightsaber. Heavy, his hand seems to refuse to accept it. This thing is alien, alien - not only for him, but for the whole world around him.

\- I want you to do this. Let the past die. Kill it?

This is not a request. Not allowing himself to come to himself, Armitage commits this senseless execution. It's not even execution. At execution the verdict is read out. And he can not find the strength to judge. Blood pours all his form, the whole face, it gets in the eyes, disgustingly nibbling. The guard of the sword almost burned the skin of the gloves. 

Sword falls to the floor with a dull sound. Hax rips off his gloves and rubs his eyes, barely able to break the gag reflex from this whole situation. Hux knew why Ren had made him do it. He tied them together. Nothing can tie stronger than blood. Well, he manages to learn something not only from the force-users. He tied him, like Hux, with his orders before that, he shared responsibility for the destruction of the Hosnian system in millions of parts. There are those who give orders, there are those who perform.   
Armitage Hux was able to tie, knew how to impose responsibility for his actions. Now he himself was in this trap. 

\- You're doing fine. I will teach you everything I know myself. 

-I'm not Force-sensitive, Ren.

Kylo smirks and tumbles his hair smeared with blood. 

\- It does not matter. In addition to the Force, there are many other things. Recently received information is about the deposits of kyber crystals on an abandoned planet in the Outer Rim. You will make a research on them. You will make perfect weapons, new, perfect. The same as you are. You are my perfect weapon.   
Perfect. Weapon. Hux knew a lot about the weapon system, in order to understand that without a human being it is useless. Weapons do not kill. He is not a man. He is a function. He is the object of obsessive love. He is anything, but not a man. 

Hux is almost physically ill from the fact that he can not even scream in horror. 

No one will hear him in his new world.


End file.
